i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
