Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
