do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
