I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
