i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Reggie can tackle my bush.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
