Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
