Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
When are your genitals available?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
