Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
