He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
