she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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