I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
