Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry fluffyMuffin hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(361): View more from Texas

is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?

(702): View more from Nevada

not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?

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(604): View more from British Columbia

fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent

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(402): View more from Nebraska

He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake

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(519): View more from Ontario

I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.

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(317): View more from Indiana

that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night

(1-317): View more from Indiana

Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?

(317): View more from Indiana

Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live

(765): View more from Indiana

That’s legit

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