Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He better not be in your backpack
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize