what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
