"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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