Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
