I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you will always have a special place in my vag
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
