would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
