jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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