i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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