My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize