Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
whose parrot is this?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
