My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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