How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i will never coherently bang her
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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