That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
