How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
