Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
