Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize