So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My dick has a subreddit
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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