Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
