He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
