1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
so explain again why im purple
no
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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