So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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