whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
