I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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