how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
