No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
