Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
