i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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