..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
