Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
