We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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