Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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