Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
