Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
