I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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