the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
