i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I FOUND THE LEGS
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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