Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
