i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
sex in a hospital.. check
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
