in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
