Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have aggressive nipples.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
