News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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