I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
