Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize