Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
