So drunk its hurt
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
