Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
