his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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