Heybabeimwearingurpanties
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
