I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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