I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize
